As I write this blog I am torn between writing about the raw emotion and pain or just writing about the joy of life and the joy my son brings me.   Today was one of those days. I will write about that and then I will write about the overwhelming waves of emotion that come when they are so raw.

Drue and I got ready for church and had a good conversation on the way. We always get a double espresso and a hot chocolate and proceed to the  nose bleed section. I just like it up there...a panoramic view and I feel safer.  As the choir/band sand the worship songs Drue hugged me tightly and I had my arm around him like we always do when singing in church.  But today I was filled with emotion and joy as he buried his head into my shoulder and hugged me even tighter.  Tears ran down my face because I felt the love flow that only a child can give...that unconditional love! Of course it was our first service since he got back after 5 weeks with his mom.  We camped for a night at the lake but bad weather forced us home and back into our routine.  We watched a movie last night and we still hug each other all the time as we say hello and goodbyes throughout the day.  He is such a wonderful boy and becoming a great young man.   As I stated earlier in a post I just want him to see me as a good example of how to love a woman.  I don't want another generation of kids not having their mom or dad around all the time.  We talk about it regularly and I pray that he can learn and know it.   It is my goal to teach him that but I am currently at a loss. I know life goes on but I know in his heart he wants that family togetherness.  What child doesn't...